Young Writers Society

Good Morning/Afternoon/Evening/Night(whichever one it is in your part of the world),

Hi! I'm here to leave a quick review!!

Anyway let's get right to it,

The winter night was so cold and brisky that i had on a scarf, two pairs of socks, two pairs of sweat-pants, and a very heavy wind-blocker, and yet i was still shivering violently. I was almost home. It seemed so close, and yet so far away too. The wind caught up to me again and made it hard to walk up the last steep hill before the qiuet old village of Brooksworth. Panting, I manage to get up. I can see the small cottages of my friendly neibors. The windows were all full of golden light shimmering from the inside fireplace. I can almost feel the warmth on my face already. So welcoming with open arms to me that if it weren't for the darned wind, i would run all the way home. A nice cup of cocoa sounds so pleasing to me now. I walked on and on in the darkness except for the village lights off in the distance. Its feels like i've been walking forever, but getting nowhere. My fingers and toes are now numb. I can't feel my nose at all.I finally catch up to the first cottage. As i walk by it i see a warm fireplace with calming sparks spitting up out of it. There is a cozy little rug in front of it with a cat resting against it in peace. I'm almost home. I see a stray black cat runing across a feild of wheat next to the village. I finally reach my doorstep. I gently slide the keys out from under the welcome mat. Sliding the key quietly into the knob and unlocking the door, i'm surely not going to wake up the neibors. I walk into the cozy little cottage that i call home. I feel content now on my decision to stay even after mum thought not to. Home sweet home.

Hi! I Saphire and I'm here to do a review! I'm a little new to the site, so I'll do my best.

There's not much I can spot that is wrong that angels-symphony didn't get, other than a few uncapitalized 'i's'. Otherwise... I'm not really sure what the story is exactly going for and it's a bit confusing. It probably would have a bit better if you'd added some more to it.

Still, overall, good job! Keep at it and I look forward to reading other works from you.

Saph

Silent Scream wrote:Last night i was kinda bored so i wrote this:


The winter night was so cold and brisky that i had on a scarf, two pairs of socks, two pairs of sweat-pants, and a very heavy wind-blocker, and yet i was still shivering violently. I was almost home. It seemed so close, and yet so far away too. The wind caught up to me again and made it hard to walk up the last steep hill before the qiuet old village of Brooksworth. Panting, I manage to get up. I can see the small cottages of my friendly neibors. The windows were all full of golden light shimmering from the inside fireplace. I can almost feel the warmth on my face already. So welcoming with open arms to me that if it weren't for the darned wind, i would run all the way home. A nice cup of cocoa sounds so pleasing to me now. I walked on and on in the darkness except for the village lights off in the distance. Its feels like i've been walking forever, but getting nowhere. My fingers and toes are now numb. I can't feel my nose at all.I finally catch up to the first cottage. As i walk by it i see a warm fireplace with calming sparks spitting up out of it. There is a cozy little rug in front of it with a cat resting against it in peace. I'm almost home. I see a stray black cat runing across a feild of wheat next to the village. I finally reach my doorstep. I gently slide the keys out from under the welcome mat. Sliding the key quietly into the knob and unlocking the door, i'm surely not going to wake up the neibors. I walk into the cozy little cottage that i call home. I feel content now on my decision to stay even after mum thought not to. Home sweet home.